Jewish Wedding Planning: 22 Tips & Tricks To Help You Plan Your Dream Weekend
Planning your wedding is such a beautiful experience. But the stress is often a bit overwhelming when making your list of what you need. Between coordinating the Tisch, Bedeken, Chuppah, and dancing, plus making sure the napkins actually match your color palette, it can feel like a lot. Thankfully, through my work as a Jewish wedding photographer and as a kallah who recently planned her own, I’ve picked up some tips along the way. I’ve put them together here to help you plan your Orthodox Jewish wedding and actually enjoy your day!
Jewish Wedding Planning: 22 Tips & Tricks To Help You Plan Your Dream Weekend
Essential Jewish wedding emergency kit
As a Jewish wedding photographer, I always pack an emergency kit with essentials. Without fail, someone often ends up needing something from it; it has saved many a wedding. This is my packing list to get you started!
- Extra kippah clips (The #1 most requested item!)
- Tide To Go Pen
- Makeup wipes and cotton swabs
- Scissors
- Blister Band-Aids
- Earplugs (For guests during the dancing)
Wedding day shoe logistics: keeping track of your shoes
It is your day, and your friends and family are there to help you; they like to be involved. One important assignment is for someone to keep track of your shoes. I still have no idea where the shoes I wore into my own wedding venue ended up. They disappeared and never turned up.
Pack separate bags for a smooth wedding day
If you are getting ready at the venue, then pack smart! You aren’t just packing for the getting ready portion but also during the wedding and after the wedding. These could all be in the same room or different rooms. To keep things organized, divide your things into three separate bags:
- Getting ready bag: a robe, hair ties, and snacks.
- Bedeken/yichud bag: water, protein bars, and shoes (if you are changing them for dancing).
- Overnight bag: pajamas and toiletries for the hotel
Place each bag in its designated spot as soon as you arrive to prevent any last-minute scrambling.
Choose readable fonts for your wedding tablecards
When it is time to prepare your place cards, you will probably use what you have seen at other weddings, which is a loopy cursive. Trust me, just use a clean text; not only will the younger guests prefer it, the older guests might struggle with the small writing. This small touch could make your wedding a lot more accessible and easy for you and your guests.
Managing temperature during simcha dancing
If you have ever been to a club, the room heats up fast as soon as people start dancing together. This is especially the case at a Jewish wedding. If you can, ask the hall if they could make the temperature of the room as cool as possible. Even with that, I would recommend friends bring paper fans, which could help!
At one wedding that I went to, the air conditioning broke, so two guests literally left the wedding to run to Target to get water guns and spray bottles. This ended up being such a memorable part of the night.
Communicate wedding day expectations with family
No matter what traditions you include or not at your Orthodox Jewish wedding, your family and friends unfortunately cannot read your mind. If you have preferences or expectations of what you do want your family to do for you, or more importantly, what you don’t want them to do, communicating those expectations ahead of time helps prevent unwanted surprises on your special day. If you want a specific family song sung, tell them; if the “broom dance” makes you cringe, make sure they know that, too!
Creative Jewish wedding table setting ideas
If you’re looking for cute things you could do for your table settings, here are some that I would suggest!
- Put out disposable cameras or set up the Dispo App. Guests can capture moments the photographer may not be close enough to get.
- Have guests write notes to open on the anniversary that matches their table numbers.
- Leave a cookbook out for guests to sign so you see their messages when you cook.
Assign a Tisch captain
If you decide to have a Tisch at your wedding, I highly suggest assigning someone as “Tisch Captain.” During the tisch, there could be a lull in between songs, or people might not know who should speak. Assigning someone to lead the Tisch will help keep the momentum going and the energy high!
Drinks at the Tisch
If your venue doesn’t have a bar in the Tisch room, the guests might empty out sporadically as they go get drinks. I highly suggest putting a few bottles of liquor in the room to keep the room full and lively throughout.
Bedeken support
As many people know, during the bedeken, it is customary to have your bridesmaids stand behind you while you await your fiancé. Today, it is common to not have formal bridesmaids, and if you don’t, then I would still suggest asking a few friends to stand behind you. Your friends might feel shy in that moment about jumping into such a significant part of the wedding, so a heads-up to your friends will make that moment all the more special.
Assigning a “petal patrol”
In the morning of the wedding, after the florist sets up the space, they will drop off the flower petals. They are small and thus super easy to misplace. Make sure to assign an adult to keep track of the petals so that when it is time for the chuppah, you aren’t scrambling around the hall trying to find them.
Saving front-row seats for kibbudim
Before the wedding, instruct the hall to mark off the first two rows at the wedding for people who have a role in the Chuppah (Ketubah reader, sheva brachot). Make sure to instruct the people with kibbudim (honors) to sit in those two rows because climbing over people could slow the ceremony down.
Fluffing the wedding dress for better Chuppah photos
As a Jewish wedding photographer, a fluffed wedding dress makes a noticeable difference in photos. After you walk down the aisle, it usually goes flat and might be off center. Ask someone to fluff your dress once you get up to the chuppah, which could make your chuppah pictures look a lot better.
Creating a private Harei At moment during the Chuppah
If you are following the traditional orthodox practice of Kiddushin under the chuppah, there aren’t many opportunities for personalization. My husband and I decided to say the important words “Harei At” not in the microphone; this helped us create our own private moment during the ceremony and personalized our ceremony that made it all the more special!
Ketubah reader practice!
If you are having someone read a Ketubah or wedding contract in Aramaic, it isn’t exactly a language people read every day. Therefore, I suggest asking them in advance to practice reading it a few times. Even a single readthrough before could make a noticeable difference in the delivery of it under the chuppah.
Select a singer for seventh Sheva Bracha
Remember, the seventh sheva bracha is typically sung, so if you care about that, then whoever you honor to read that bracha should be able to carry a tune.
Communicate your Chuppah tunes to the band
For the portion after Sheva Brachot, when they sing Im Eshkachech, your band is not a mindreader. If you have a preferred tune, tell your band or DJ in advance. That isn’t something they might ask you, so it is important to ask them.
Navigating the walk to the Yichud room
After the chuppah, the walk to the Yichud room can get a bit busy. Make sure someone knows where the Yichud room is so they can lead the crowd.
Transitioning between sets for separate dancing
If you’re having separate dancing (with a mechitza), assign someone to help transition the room quickly so the energy stays high and guests know where to go. Once a few people head in the right direction, everyone will follow.
Organizing the wedding shtick
If you are having shtick and would like your parents to sit next to you then assign someone to bring chairs in right when the shtick would start. Also assign someone to retrieve the parents and guide them to the right spot! This will make that section go smoother and avoid mishaps.
Using humor in Jewish wedding speeches
I don’t know about you, but I love a good dad joke. And they are a great thing to incorporate into speeches during the wedding! Some solid jokes I’ve heard in speeches include “It’s traditional at this point to add them to the family WhatsApp group!” and “It’s time to decide whose Netflix account you’re going to mooch off of!”
Safety tips for the chair lift and Hora dancing
Last, but certainly not least, let’s chat about being lifted in the chairs! If you are doing a chair lift during the dancing, here’s a small tip that makes a big difference. The shorter people should be in the front and the taller in the back. That way, you lean backwards and don’t fall off!
I Hope This Helps You Start Planning Your Dream Jewish Wedding Weekend!
I really hope this guide helps you as you start to plan your Jewish wedding! Now, you just need the right photographer by your side to capture every moment! That’s where I come in! As a Jewish wedding photographer, I adore traveling across the country to help couples remember each and every moment of their wedding. Let’s chat! Send me a message today to find out more!
