As a wedding photographer who specializes in Jewish ceremonies, I love seeing the ways that couples balance tradition with modern values. Recently, I had the chance to chat with Emma, a bride-to-be who is in the midst of planning her modern Jewish wedding ceremony with her fiancé, Gabe. The two of them are figuring out how to plan a wedding ceremony that feels authentically them while still nodding to Jewish tradition.

Creating a Modern Jewish Wedding Ceremony

Emma and her fiancé Gabe come from different Jewish backgrounds. She grew up in a secular family with Russian roots, while he was raised in a more traditional Reform household. As they plan their modern Jewish wedding ceremony, they are being intentional about which elements of Judaism to include. “Without question, we knew we wanted a chuppah and a rabbi,” Emma explains. “It’s important for us to have a Jewish ceremony. Because of this, we prioritized finding a rabbi who connected with us both spiritually and personality-wise.”

The couple is focusing on incorporating traditions that hold significance for them, rather than simply going through the motions. Basically, they want their ceremony to reflect their shared values and the life they are building together. This means carefully selecting the wording for their ketubah, invitations, and other details to convey what is most important.

For Emma and Gabe, the chuppah itself is the heart of the celebration. They are working closely with their rabbi to craft a modern Jewish wedding ceremony that feels authentic to them. This includes being intentional about gendered language and customs to ensure the ceremony has an egalitarian spirit.

While some aspects are still being decided, certain elements are non-negotiable, such as having a chuppah (wedding canopy). “For us, the ceremony is the most important part—that is the wedding. The reception is just for after. We wanted to put all our resources into the ceremony,“ Emma shares enthusiastically. They are planning to decorate the chuppah with lush floral arrangements in vibrant colors, serving as a stunning focal point.

Other rituals the couple is considering include the seven blessings, breaking the glass, and playing traditional Jewish music as they joyfully process down the aisle. “I’m already worried about the heel situation with breaking the glass, so I can’t imagine doing that myself,” Emma laughs. “But I think it’s a really cool tradition, and I’m okay with just Gabe doing it.” Emma emphasizes that they are making each decision with care and intention. She and Gabe want to embrace customs that resonate with them and their families.

The Importance of Vendors Who Understand Your Modern Jewish Wedding Ceremony

One piece of advice Emma offers is the importance of working with vendors who are familiar with Jewish weddings, particularly when planning a modern Jewish wedding ceremony. “Just having Jewish vendors, or vendors who are friends of the Jews and really get it, is huge. It’s come up so much more than I thought it would,” she explains. Hiring professionals who already understand the significance of a ketubah or other essential elements can make the planning process much smoother.

Whether it’s a photographer who knows to capture the signing of the ketubah or a wedding planner who understands the flow of a Jewish ceremony, having a team that is well-versed in the traditions can make all the difference. “When I’d have a conversation with a photographer and they’d say, ‘Well, I don’t know what a ketubah is,’ I’m like, ‘We have to have someone who knows what’s going on,'” Emma emphasizes. As a photographer who has captured countless Jewish weddings, I couldn’t agree more. Understanding the unique rituals and symbols allows me to anticipate key moments and create images that truly tell the story of the day.

Conclusion

As Emma and Gabe navigate the many decisions involved in planning a modern Jewish wedding ceremony, they remain focused on what matters most: beginning their married life together in a way that honors their heritage and values. By being intentional about each choice and working with professionals who understand their vision, they are creating a meaningful celebration that they and their guests will remember for years to come.

Planning your own Jewish wedding? Join my Modern/Egalitarian Jewish wedding planning community!

Also on the blog:

• NJG Doodles: Contemporary Jewish Wedding Card Designer
• Breaking Glass Jewish Wedding Tradition: Preserving Memories with Chuppah Glass Art